So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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