Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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