Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
