i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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