Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
