that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
