Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
