You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
