'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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