WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
