i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
