Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize