That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i now understand why vodka
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
