You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
