My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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