Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
