i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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