Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize