I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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