Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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