its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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