would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
