are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
