2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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