oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
