She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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