I have demons in me.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
there was a trapeze. enough said
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
