If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he thought i was a dude.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I am mentally ready for anal.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
