i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
a search helicopter?!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
