Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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