I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize