I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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