hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We don't watch enough power rangers
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize