ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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