Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
