Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
