Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize