Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
