my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Randomize
