margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
