You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
