so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize