vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize