Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
