there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
