My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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