Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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