I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
