I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
