Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
