eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize