eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
