You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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