She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
