what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
