Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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