I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize