ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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