next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
