I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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