that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I'm really busy with my period
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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