remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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