Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize