On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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