i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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