i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize