I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
