Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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