So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
