Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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