u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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