WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
