Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
COCAINE IS GR8
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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