yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
