when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
