my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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