i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
