She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
