I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
